Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
