C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
