Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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