Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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