saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
