jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Porn is love you can see.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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