If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize