i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
