I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
