Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
