just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize