I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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