Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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