I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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