Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
