OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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