the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
