I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Porn is love you can see.
i think i have herpe
just one?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
