1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
