I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
