you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
