Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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