Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
