I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
