Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
