Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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