I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
