I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
