Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
This baby is an asshole
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
