Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
