Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
