Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
