my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
