get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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