I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm both gender and math confused
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
