I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
