she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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