At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
