you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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