Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
