I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
