Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
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