I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
