We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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