i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Randomize
