I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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