have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
