And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
