turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
