I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
