I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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