dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
