Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
