I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
