she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I need moral support for this bender
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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