You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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