I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
