Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
