Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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