I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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