In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
